Other Hacked Revelations

P.F. Jones has three cell phones, none of which appear to be on Earth at the moment

Chip Foxx texts in presciptions from 13 different doctors for Oxycontin and Percocet

Robert Lampini has a number of pictures in his phone that appear to be of strangling victims

Conner Banks texts his drug dealer Rodney and a bookie, who, as it turns out, is Post contributor Vinnie Giovanni

Cindy Stopher is blackmailing three U.N. delegates with incriminating photos she lured them into

Shell Davis had an eight month affair with Paul Ryan in 2011

by Jennifer Cox
Post Manhattan Reporter
October 14, 2012

Thousands of pages of correspondence were hacked from the Jones Media Group Tuesday.
The Army of Truth, corporate sabotuers that have plagued the company for over five years, took responsibility for the attack.
They claim the spyware was designed by JMG and has been used to hack the phones and computers of celebrities and politicians.
"JMG has engaged in illegal surveillance of American citizens for too long," the Army wrote in a statement. "Outlets like Fifteen Minutes magazine, Washington Pulse magazine and even The Morning After Post have utilized ill-gotten information. It's time they got a taste of their own medicine."
The 'Army' used JMG's spyware on its own executives and employees' emails, text messages and voice mails.
"It is unconscienable to think that anyone would violate our privacy like this, even if they thought we regularly did it to public figures worthy of our scrutiny," said Vladimir Himler, VP of Synergy at JMG's parent company, International Jones, Inc.
Himler went on to assure everyone that he usually had no use for Filipino escorts and that that transaction was an isolated incident.
The Army also produced evidence that JMG has conducted illegal surveillance on George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Nicolas Cage, Lindsey Lohan, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Paul Ryan, Harry Reid, John Boehner, Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton.
Attorney General Eric Holder said the Justice Department is considering what charges, if any, to file against JMG's executives.
It is still unclear if I.J.I. CEO P.F. Jones has any connection to the alleged hackings.

What?
You- you can't suspend me for that.
Those were illegally obtained!
That's my personal correspondence!
It would be inadmissible in a court of law.
What- you want me to piss in a cup?
Fine.
Hows about you GO FUCK YOURSELF!
Why am I the only one getting suspended?
Chip Foxx is high 24/7 and no one bothers him.
Why?
Is it because he's a famous pundit and I'm a working-class nobody?
Human Resources can KISS MY ASS!
When I go to HR to report theft or plagerism, there's nothing they can do.
But let some malcontents hack MY phone (to get even with our bosses, somehow) and I get suspended?
FUCK YOU!
That Martha bitch in HR has had it in for me ever since I accidentally ate her yogurt.
THIS IS BULLSHIT!
What's the big deal- it's only weed.
It's no worse than Harvey drinking Jones Scotch all day or whatever the fuck Chip's on.
Fuck it- I need a week away from this newsroom anyway.
read more of Conner's texts in

NOTE TO READERS: you'll have more fun if you click around a bunch of those links. promise.